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Emo Queen
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Emo Queen, myself as odalisque.
If I were an odalisque, I would not lounge about on Turkish pillows surrounded by lavish tapestries and beautiful gardens. I would not have my slaves about fanning me and I would not cavort about in pools with other odalisques. I would be as I've always been, full of contrasts, shut away, forcing pain upon myself as the darkness penetrates. I'd rip out my own heart to make you happy, I told him a thousand times, I just never told him I'd replace it with a sturdier one, one he couldn't break. I was his odalisque, a doll he could manipulate and pose, the way the artists pose their odalisques. I would be dressed the way he wants me to be, look the way he wants me to. But still, no matter how many harems you put me in, or silks you drape over me, I am still, quite simply, the emo queen.
I'm not sure if the above made any sense. It is a little rambly, but it best describes the mentality of the painting and my personal feelings most of the time. I am seated, quite unconventionally on a toilet seat. (no I'm not using the bathroom, the lid is down.) The bathroom is something of a comfort zone. it has always been the one place I can go and be alone. At any and all ages, it has been a haven to escape to at times. The bathroom however, is also a place of sadness for me. Several of my suicide attempts (yes there are quite a few) took place in the bathroom when I was younger. The bathroom is black and white, a study in contrasts, just as I am. A large "poison Arrow" of darkness dominates the visual entry field of the painting leading you to the subject's face. The subjects looks down, as she "puts her heart on the shelf" and replaces it with a new, shiny metal one. There aren't any tears though. She is resolute, firm, a study of concentration. She has stopped to watch the blood flow over her arm were she has laid it under the open wound. The open wound with a vaginal look to it bleeds heavily over her arm, down her legs and onto the toilet seat. THe perspective of the room is slightly twisted in order to disorient the viewer slightly. Blood is splattered everywhere, the girl, the wall, the shelf, the new heart. The title Queen of emo is making reference to the toilet as the throne as well as the term Emo which I have written a short essay on. Emo is just another version of punk but it has come to refer to people who are a little "too" emotional. They cut themselves and make depression into an art form… I was there at the beginning of the emo scene, my original title was the princess of distress, but I think I am past the princess state at this point.
The new orientalism
When orientalism began, Europeans were fascinated with it because it showed them a place they had never dreamed of. An exotic land that was a world away, but also very close. Obsessions with the people, the objects ad the look began to grow and soon everyone was orienting themselves to the Orient. However it was a false Orient. A world that was mainly fictional with a few artifacts thrown in. Artists concocted visions of the orient in their own studios and through the use of photography (the new medium.) People had a false idea of what the East was. Fast forward a couple of hundred years. September 11th 1995 DIC released the cartoon Sailor moon to America. It was not taken to very well originally. However 3 years later in 1998, Sailor Moon became a household name in America, reinstating the NEW orientalism. Other Anime followed suit, Dragonball Z, Samurai Pizza Cat, Digimon, but by far the biggest name in Anime was Pokemon. It wasn't long before More cartoons were in the anime style than they were in any other. People began a new love of the East, namely Japan. The animes that came to us showed us a world we didn't know about. With the internet now in almost every home we are more than familiar with the world of Japan but it still holds a mystery . A far off exotic place where people eat with chopsticks and wear short skirts as a school uniform. Much like the original Orientalism, our obsession with Japan lies in the area of sexuality. Home of tentacle porn, the original student-teacher relationship and of course Asian women, the exotic world of Japan seems like a sexual heaven to many Americans. Sex hotels, the Kabukicho red-light district, and their history of sex slaves would lead most to think of Japan as a sexual cornucopia. With businesses for every sexual fantasy you could ever have and Enjo kōsai, Japan is the new Turkey whose Odalisques and Harems inspired the first orientalism. Every man's fantasy from the 1700's to the 2000's is in the Orient.